Author's Front Porch
Scenes of various lessons in process... and luke warm tea...

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Can we just chat a bit informally?

Ah, a chance for us to just chat a bit, though a little one sided I'll admit. There are things I wanted to share with you that just wouldn't fit in the rest of the more formal format. Also, I thought I'd sprinkle in a few pictures of lessons in action.

Though I will address you as an teacher, please know that if you are a parent, you are one of the most vital teachers on the planet. In fact, it is your success in the home that will make the largest single impact on the children of the world.

I have a strong affinity for teachers, in fact, More Teachable Moments has the following dedication in the front of the book.

"Dedicated to the world's most precious professionals-- the teachers of our children. During this time of accelerating technological power, may our teachings assist children in developing the heart and mind connection vital to spaceship Earth and a safe voyage for all aboard."

Join me for a conversation on the front porch?

Imagine that we're on the front porch on a summer evening having a spot of tea. We're on a first name basis, my name's Cliff and if you don't mind I'll call you PT. (can you guess what that stands for?... nope, it's not parent/teacher...)

We don't have to watch our grammar and we can really just say whatever we like on the privacy of the front porch. We're brand new friends and we have something in common. . . the welfare of children, families, relationships and the success of an educated society in a world where increasing violence and destructive behaviors seem to be crying out for more humanity.

(Photo--Process in Lesson 5 to show contrast between robots with no feelings and humans. First they walk around like robots, then the complete opposite.)
"Would you like some more tea, PT?"

"Sure, it's good to relax. Wow, those crickets are loud tonight aren't they!" The night air had finally cooled to a reasonable temperature and the sky was peppered with stars. A great night to sit on the porch and gab.

Cliff poured some tea and placed it carefully on the shaky wooden table as they both sat back in the wicker chairs. Cliff had placed pillow on them since he knew PT preferred the comfort. "Are they as noisy as the kids at school?" He replied.

"Ah kids! Whew... you know I've been teaching for 15 years but things are much different now."

Cliff nodded his head and asked, "How's it different for you?"

"Well you know. It used to be that most of the discipline problems were simple things like tardiness, gum chewing, or skipping classes. Now. . . it's drugs, weapons and guns, and not just an occasional fight, but kids actually killing other kids!" After a pause PT continued, "Can you keep this private?"

(Photo--Process in Lesson 7 to develop mutual support for making and achieving goals.)
"Yes, though we only met last week please know that I am trustworthy." Cliff replied. (realizing this whole conversation is going right on the Internet to millions of people... yet PT is imaginary, right?)

"Cliff, I'm considering changing careers. I mean I started out in teaching due to my love for kids. However, some days my greatest goal is to make sure nobody gets hurt or killed at school. In fact, with all the violence, to tell you the truth sometimes I'm afraid that if I offend the wrong kid they may try and get even with me. Last week they took a gun away from an 8th grader that was threatening to shoot his teacher because she gave him a low mark."

PT continued after moving toward the edge of the chair. "A high school counselor friend of mine said that 95% of all his counseling is now drug related. A big change from years ago when it was about whether to go to college, troubles with grades or an occasional pregnancy."

(Photo--Process in Lesson 10 to raise awareness of what it's like to stuff and hold back feelings.)
"I can certainly understand," Cliff agreed in a sympathetic tone. "With all the violence children witness through TV and movies, many believe kids become desensitized to harmful behavior and actually become destructively trained as to ways to deal with conflict. I hope you can hang in there though, you are a Precious Teacher, PT, and we need more like you, not less!"

"You said your curriculum materials are about relating skills? Would it be of help now days? I know you first published it back in 1983." PT eased back into her cushioned chair and picked up her cup again.

"I was in a workshop once with a bunch of strangers. Eye contact was only glancing and I actually wanted to leave. One of the processes the facilitator had us do (the group had agreed to be open to most anything) was to walk around and without talking, listen to each other's heart beat." Cliff noticed his tea was cold, but drank some anyway.

"What happened?" PT asked.

(Photo--Process in Lesson 10 to raise awareness of how carrying around a lot of stuffed feelings can tend to separate you from others, and perhaps explode at the wrong time.)
"Everything changed. At the end of the process we were all among friends. We realized that each person in the room was a living, breathing, feeling person with a heart beat all nervous about doing this strange activity, but the result was that we were now connected."

"Hmmm..." PT said, "I don't think that would work with my kids... too many sexual jokes would pop up."

"But you get the idea? When we relate to people as living, breathing, feeling human beings what happens?"

"Well I do know that the way they train soldiers is to depersonalize the enemy and to not think of them as humans. They make up different names and take the emotion or feeling out of killing.. . So you're saying to remove violence we need to do the opposite?" PT started to drink the tea, but set it down quickly. (interesting how people like hot tea, or iced tea, but luke warm isn't their cup of tea)

(Photo--Process in Lesson 8 to practice having Heart Talks with the full set of agreements in tact. Also, the smaller groups allow the talks to take place faster than in one large group.)
"It's a start. And, even if its within the classroom or in a family, there is some transference to other people," Cliff said. "The curriculum doesn't have the kids literally listening to each other's hearts, but it does have them listening to each other's feelings in some lessons, which is an even more powerful way to listen to their hearts. Don't you feel more of a bond with people after they've shared how they're feeling?"

PT replied, "Yeah, my close friends, but classrooms aren't really the place for that."

"Do you share your feelings with your friends because they're your friends, or, are they your friends because you feel safe to share your feelings with them?"

"Hmmm..." PT pondered.

(Photo--Process in Lesson 7 to share something you achieved and felt good about to begin to inspire goal setting.)
Cliff paused and said, "Well, the feelings are there regardless, just as they are on the street, at work and in the home. Technology is expanding so fast I think most people think we should just stuff feelings and act more like machines, in fact, we probably communicate more with our computers than we do with each other. Then we wonder why people treat other people more like objects than living, breathing, feeling human beings."

PT was just quiet with one of those far off looks reserved for people either not interested or deep in thought. Cliff apparently assumed the latter and continued, "You know that happiness is a feeling? With all our great search for happiness, the end result is that it's really a feeling. In fact, as humans, it might be argued that we do most of what we do in order to feel good and not feel bad. Feelings also influence almost everything we do in life, how we get along with co-workers, friends, relationships, and families. If they are that important and they're with us all the time, how can we say the classroom is not an appropriate place to learn how to experience them, communicate about them, take responsibility for them and indeed even experience the bonding and love that takes place by sharing them. Like what are you feeling right now?"

"I'm a little frightened that I may be leaning toward trying your things out in class yet this is very unfamiliar territory," PT shared.

"Many have told me that, so what I tell them is just try out the first lesson. The kids usually love it-- even adults. It's about the humorous ways we don't listen to each other. There are some processes you lead the kids through on interruptions, wandering attention, etc. So many teachers, especially fourth grade, have told me to my surprise, that the kids ask to have lesson 1 repeated."

PT said, "Boy that's never happened with any lessons I've led in 15 years. Why would they like it that much?"

(Photo--Process in Lesson 4 of having a Heart Talk using the special agreements.)
Cliff responded, "Kids of all ages like to be involved with each other, they like self-discovery, they like talking, moving, and experiencing their learning live. These lessons are designed with that in mind, therefore there is less talking on the teacher's part and more activity on the student's part."

The two continued to talk and later PT asked to have the materials to try out in the classroom. *** perhaps we'll follow along on future installments and see how PT is doing... please email "Cliff" if you have any questions you wish PT would ask.

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