This is for the laughter part of Live Love Laugh
Some are very funny, some are silly, but they grow on you!

My baby brother was sent from heaven. I think they wanted it quiet up there.

My Dad works for a bakery and makes pies and cakes.
Well, my Dad works for a law firm. He makes loopholes.

I would buy this dog but his legs are too short.
Too short? They reach the ground don't they?

Stewardess, how high is the plane?
About 29,000 feet. Hmmm. . . then how wide is it?

Can February March?
No, but April May.

What is the difference between a matterbaby and an elephant?
What's a matterbaby?
Nothing, what's the matter with you?

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

How can you make anti-freeze?
(Hide her pajamas.)

Yesterday I asked my sister's sarcastic parrot: "Can you talk?" . . ."Can you talk?" He looked at me and said, "Yes, I can talk, can you fly?"

Have you ever wondered what momma stork tells baby stork when it asks where it came from?

Why do you think people use credit cards?
('cause money can't buy you happiness)

Now I really am mixed up! My fortune cookie contradicted my horoscope.

There are two things you can't eat for breakfast.
What are they? Lunch and dinner.

Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?
(to a retail store)

Statistics show that one out of four people in the U.S. is mentally unbalanced. If you don't believe it, just think of three of your friends.

A psychiatrist I know has two mail baskets, one is labeled "Outgoing" and the other "Inhibited".

Why did the chicken go half way across the road?
(To lay it on the line)

What is the best qualification you have for the job of night watchman?
The slightest noise wakes me up.

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. My handwriting is perfect for it.

My golf is getting better! Yesterday I hit a ball in one!

How do you prevent infection from biting insects?
(Just don't bite any)

Help. An alligator bit off my leg.
Which one?
Beats me, these alligators all look alike.

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